Grateful to be 40!

I turned 40 years old just last week and I find it difficult to articulate how grateful I am for the life that I have today.

I am GRATEFUL to BE alive, because in my darkest moments I wanted to end my life.

I am GRATEFUL for God’s grace (free and unmerited), for showing me that light can break through the darkness, that joy and healing is possible, that I can experience the miracle of laughter once again.

I am GRATEFUL that each new day is an opportunity to love God more, love myself more and to love others more.

I am GRATEFUL that I have the opportunity to rebuild any relationships that were impacted by my pain.  In the midst of it, it is difficult to see beyond my pain…that is enough it seems in that moment.  But my behavior impacted others…those who love me are left to wonder, “is it their fault?” “what can they do to help?” or they are frustrated, “how come what I do can’t help you?” “Why aren’t you happy?” Its hard to see their pain too.  Now, I am grateful for this opportunity to ask for forgiveness, to rebuild trust, to forgive myself and to forgive others.

Its not easy work in the aftermath.  But I am so GRATEFUL for the chance!